Christmas: Coming Soon

Christmas makes me thankful that I am starting my own family. Hopefully, I will do right by this kid, and he'll want to spend time with me even when he is an adult. Can't wait for him to be here!

Love you, sweet baby boy!

Third trimester!

Here I am! Third trimester already! Before I know it, it will be Christmas and then baby will come 2 months later! Wow. Time is really flying by. I can't wait to meet my little boy!

I am so glad I am taking Bradley classes. Even though I still have more to learn and do, I feel like I will be able to handle childbirth. I actually almost feel excited about it. Very little fear.

Baby is moving like crazy now. He's big and strong too. Sometimes I have to jump a little when I feel a kick in my ribs. Yesterday, I went to a vocal jazz/Christmas concert with my mother-in-law. I play music all the time for my baby, but he does not usually move any more than usual when it's playing. Maybe I haven't been playing the right kind of music! LOL During the concert yesterday, I swear he was not only kicking me, but I think he did a few flips too. A couple of times I felt a bulge sticking out about the size of a medium orange. Not sure if that was the head or the butt. Pretty cool, regardless!

Also, I got the baby's room done. I just need to add some more decorative touches. Pictures to come.

Pieces are all coming together now

I am so excited about giving birth! I had my first Bradley class yesterday, and that went really well. I feel like these classes will truly prepare me to give birth. We actually got lots of homework to do before our next class on Sunday. I also had a doctor appointment today, and my doula attended it. I asked my doctor some questions about when she would show up during labor, when I would need to push, etc. I liked her answers and feel like she is very supportive of me and my desire to have a natural birth. I feel like all the pieces are coming together and that I might actually accomplish the kind of birth that I want!

Also, only 3 more days (2 work days) until Thanksgiving, so that really has me excited as well! All the yummy food and plenty of relaxation time... Can't wait.... hmmmm..... :)

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!

Finished the baby's quilt!

Now I just need to find a darn crib... ;)

Let's hear it for the boy!

I heard "Let's Hear it for the Boy" by Deniece Williams on the radio while driving to work on Friday. That really perked up my day. It is such a happy song. It reminds me of my husband, especially the lyric "And maybe he sings off-key, but that's alright with me." LOL It also makes me think about my son. When he finally makes his entrance to the world, I will be so happy and excited to hear his voice (crying). I'll be thinking, "Let's hear it for the boy!" Thus, this song might be a good soundtrack to play in the background when I am in labor. I'll have to remember to download it.

Nothing all that new this week. I am starting to feel like a real pregnant lady because I feel soooo sore in my hips whenever I get up from lying down. Also, when the baby moves, my belly seriously looks like there is an alien in there. LOL Before, I just saw twinges, but now I see full-on pokes. He must be getting big because my belly button is officially an outie now!

I am excited about my most recent purchase. I just ordered 4 wall decals for the baby's room and the infant car seat I have been eyeing for awhile (it's supposed to be super safe).

This is the Chicco Keyfit 30

And this is one of the wall decals I bought. The baby's room will have a Dr. Suess theme because my brother and I loved reading his books as kids.

I signed up for 12 weeks of Bradley classes. I am going for a natural, unmedicated childbirth experience. I want my husband to be very involved and my main source of support, so that is why I went with the Bradley method. I start in about 2 weeks. I am so excited!

This baby DOES throw punches!

I had another ultrasound on Tuesday, and it went great! They wanted more pictures to make sure the heart was OK and that the cord was not wrapped around baby's neck. Everything is fine! I had a different ultrasound tech and she seemed more understanding about wanting to see the baby and get cute pictures. She printed pictures of his foot (2x), his body (3x), and his face. It is amazing to see he has noticeably grown in 2 weeks. Also, I have confirmed that he has taken at least one of my facial features: my long philtrum. What is a philtrum, you ask? It is the piece of skin that has a groove in it that is between the nose and the mouth. Here's a picture I got from nlm.nih.gov

And here is a picture of my baby boy's profile that shows a longer philtrum.

It is exciting to know that this kid really will take after us. He really is OURS!

Also, I found out at the ultrasound that he has flipped inside me. 2 weeks ago his head was down by my cervix. Now his FEET are down by my cervix. This explains the many kicks I have felt on my bladder. LOL Weird feeling that is, I must say. I still feel kicks (or should I say punches) by my belly button and videotaped my belly moving/jumping today. I say "there" after every punch that makes my belly visibly move. You might want to click on "Full Screen" to see it better because his movements still are pretty small.

Also, over the last week or so, it seems like my belly has gotten huge all of a sudden. Prior to this week, I could pass as non-pregnant. Now I am very obviously pregnant. I am wondering if this has to do with his change in position or just where I am at in pregnancy. (Maybe a lot of people have a belly growth spurt around 22 weeks?) Anyways, the first picture below shows me at 21 weeks and the second picture shows me at 22 weeks. What a difference!

Last but not least, I have been working feverishly on my baby quilt and the whole front side is almost done! I picked a really simple design that I knew would work, so that is partly the reason why I am getting so much done so fast. I am thinking that I will try another design and if I like how it turns out, I will make this quilt a reversible one! I'll show pictures when done.

Have a great weekend!

Coughing, quilting, and cooperating

"I wish nothing but the best for you..."

I've been obsessed with Adele's song "Someone Like You". So beautiful. I think about my son when I hear this song, even though it is about unrequited love. The lyric, "I wish nothing but the best for you", does fit how I feel for him though.

Anyways, the last week or so has been pretty uneventful. I have a persistent cough that is going on 3 weeks now. I finally caved and started taking antibiotics. My doctor said they were safe. I feel a little better, but still coughing some. Hopefully, it will go away soon. I had a little scare the day after I started taking them because he hardly kicked at all that day. He wasn't following his "usual" pattern of kicking within an hour or two of lunch. He got right back to kicking like crazy the next day, so I was relieved.

I gave up finishing my quilt for the spare guest bedroom. I'll finish that later. I want to get started on the baby quilt. Since the baby's room will have a Dr Seuss theme, that is the kind of fabric I bought for the quilt.

I can't wait to get started! Here is a picture of the spare bedroom quilt I started.

And this is a picture of the first, and only, quilt I have done. I made it for the master bedroom. My husband and I sleep with it every night. It is very warm! :)

In other news, my belly button is pretty much flat now. (What?!) That is the most shocking part of pregnancy for me so far. I thought I would be 30+ weeks when my belly button would go flat. Oh well.

Also, on Tuesday I have another ultrasound scheduled. Junior was moving so much before that they could not get good pictures of his heart. Hopefully, he will cooperate more this time. :) I am hoping I can get a full body picture to take home because I did not get one last time.

In less than 2 days, I will be 22 weeks! Yipee! Grow, baby, grow!

We are having a...

I'm having a sweet baby boy! I already love him so much. I can't even put into words what I am feeling right now. Maybe the words will come to me later.

The ultrasound went well today. I have to come back for another ultrasound because I guess my boy was moving so much that they couldn't get good measurements of his heart. I am not worried though. I have always had a feeling that he has a strong heart, both physically and symbolically. Hopefully, they can give me a good full body picture of him because all I got today was 2 penis pictures (LOL) and a profile face one.

Have a great week!

Baby kick brings new love (cue sentimental music)

Exciting news! For the last week or so, I thought I was feeling the baby poke my hand while I was lying down at night. I was not sure because I haven't ever really felt the typical "flutters", "bubbles", and whatnot that you are supposed to feel when baby is moving. Every once in awhile I feel something weird going on in my uterus; I can't even describe it. Well, whenever I have gotten this weird feeling (usually when I am lying down at night), I put my hand on my tummy below my belly button. I could have sworn several times I felt small pokes and even the occasional roll. Every time I swear I feel something against my hand, I shout for husband to come into the room to see if he can feel it. So far every time we try, he says he can't feel anything or says it's hard to tell what he is feeling. Last night, on the other hand, he put his hand on my tummy for a few minutes and actually felt some pokes and even a roll! I couldn't believe it! I guess I really am officially feeling the baby move. :)

In other news, I went on a major shopping spree yesterday (well, major for me, at least). I needed an extra pair of maternity slacks for work, casual pants for weekends, long sleeved shirts for work and weekends, and some fitted, stretchy tees for layering under sweaters and whatnot. I was a little worried I wouldn't find much or would have to pay a TON of money because I read that maternity selections for most stores are online now. I don't like buying clothes online because I don't want to be stuck with clothes that don't fit right or have to pay to return them by mail.

Anyways, I first went to Burlington Coat Factory because I read on Baby Center that their maternity clothing is reasonably priced and they were correct. The shirts did not seem of good quality and I was skeptical whether they would really stretch appropriately as I get bigger. The jeans and casual pants, though, looked nicely made and fit me well, so I bought two pairs of weekend pants there as well as one shirt. Then, I went to Savers (a thrift store). Man, I hit the mother-load there! They had a lot of maternity clothes in my size, in good condition, and did not look out of style at all. Plus, a maternity winter coat for $10! I ended up also getting 2 fitted tees, a work shirt, a long sleeved shirt, and corduroy pants. I also went to Gordman's, which was a bit disappointing. It is all Motherhood Maternity stuff and we have that store in the same mall. I did find and buy a long-sleeved shirt there that was cheaper than at the Motherhood store. I went to JC Penney's, even though I went there a little over a month ago already because they have such good prices and quality. Plus, they were having a store sale. I bought 2 sweaters and 1 pair of work pants for $60 total that would normally be $80.

Now I am super excited about Monday, October 3 (like I wasn't before, right?). I want to find out the sex and start buying things for my son or daughter, start working on his/her quilt, and get going on getting the baby's room ready. A lot of my worry has fallen by the wayside and I just want to start bonding with my son/daughter. I want to start listening to music more so baby can hear. I want my husband to start talking more to him/her in my tummy. Heck- maybe I'll even try hard not to get annoyed when people rub my belly without asking first! LOL

Picture and Update!

Here is my 18 weeks belly shot!

Also, I had a doctor appointment today. I was so excited to hear the heartbeat! It is a strong, steady 155 bpm! It feels so good knowing that baby is truly OK. I think this is the happiest I have ever been. I wonder how I got so lucky. A co-worker came up to me today, touched my belly, and said, "I think it's going to be a boy!" No idea if this is true or not and don't really care, but it's exciting to know I will find out soon.

Oops. I almost forgot to mention that my doctor measured the size/length of my uterus and it turns out my uterus is already at my belly button, so I am measuring around 20 weeks! Wow! I guess that's why all of a sudden my belly seems bigger and I can actually feel my uterus.

18 weeks and finally showing! :)

I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow. Hip hip hooray! That's getting pretty close to the halfway point of my pregnancy. 2 weeks from today we will have the anatomy scan and probably find out the gender too. Although I still sometimes worry about if things are OK "in there", I feel comforted by seeing by belly continuing to get bigger. I had a dream last night that I wipe and see blood, but I will not let it bother me. I think that dream was more a reflection of my fears than an actual prediction. (When I miscarried last time, I had a dream the night before that I would bleed and I did.) I also tell myself that nothing bad can happen because my old cat Maxi is up in heaven watching down on me and protecting my baby. I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but if this baby is a boy, I am really thinking of naming him Max in honor of my cat.

Exciting news... Someone actually noticed my bump today at work! Up until this point, people kept telling me I'm not showing or that I still look pretty thin. Not today! I was pretty excited to hear that someone besides my husband and I notices my belly getting bigger. It makes the pregnancy all the more real. Baby must be OK if my belly is getting bigger, right?

I'll post a belly pic later tonight or tomorrow.

Bah-bump!

I should be going to bed because I worked for 12 straight hours yesterday, I am starting to have a cold, and I just feel totally wiped out! Oh yeah, and my husband just left today for Utah. He'll be gone for 3 days. I'll miss him. It feels a lot like the first 4 years of our relationship when we lived almost 2 hours apart and only saw each other on the weekends because we were both still in college. I also rely on him a lot to keep me sane with the crazy-stress of my job. I hope the next two work days are "easy" days (if there is such a thing in education).

Anyways, even though I still worry about baby. I really wish I could feel him/her move! Sometimes I think I feel something different in my uterus, but it never lasts long. My belly is steadily getting bigger though and I love that.

Bummer news: My doctor appointment for Friday was cancelled (not by me), and it doesn't look like they have openings this week or next. :( I really wanted to hear the heartbeat and get reassurance that everything is OK. Maybe I will finally cave and by a home doppler. Mmmmmm... maybe not. I don't know.

Happy hump day, everyone!

Working and Being Pregnant

Hello, again! Well, I went back to work teaching this past week with the kids starting school on Thursday. I forgot how busy and stressful the beginning of the school year is! I am almost thinking of creating a separate blog to vent my frustrations and exhilaration of being a teacher. I won't torture you with that right now, except to say that being a special education teacher is VERY hard and that difficulty has little to nothing to do with the students themselves. It all has to do with school funding and district politics/bureaucracy. :(

Anyways, being pregnant while teaching so far is not too hard. I just have to remember to have little snacks and drinking (water) breaks throughout the day. I also have to remember to not pick up or move kids. Eek! I did that on Thursday without thinking. This student was not heavy and I did not feel strained picking her up, but what was I thinking?!

I also have to remember to not stay late like I did almost every night last year (I refuse to work at home). I seem to get tired late in the afternoon, so I do not want to push myself physically too much now that I have to take care of 2 people (me and the baby). I am always trying to please people and not let anyone down (especially my students), but I cannot be superwoman. If I cannot sufficiently do my job within an 8 hour workday, then that means the district has given me too large of a workload and/or not enough resources to do my job. I say all this stuff now, but I will probably still catch myself feeling guilty for leaving at the end of my contract day.

I also need to limit my workday for the sake of my sanity. When I think about work too much and I basically work from sun up to sun down, I cry a lot and get depressed. I need balance in my life and that will be even more important once baby comes.
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I wish I could feel baby move! I am SO looking forward to that sensation. I decided against buying a doppler to hear the heartbeat at home because I didn't want to become worried if one day I couldn't find the heartbeat. I am in the 2nd trimester now, so I just try to assume everything's OK. I keep putting my hand on my belly just below my belly button, trying to feel a small kick or punch from my baby. I have no idea if it would be possible to feel this early, but I keep trying. Sometimes it seems like I feel a light tap against my hand, but that could possibly be my pulse or a muscle twinge.

I should be able to feel baby in the next few weeks though for sure! Yay!

Happy Labor Day weekend and remember why we celebrate it! (http://www.columbiamissourian.com/stories/2011/08/31/david-rosman/)

My baby bump at 14 weeks

Yay! It's here!

Some of this is bloat still, but the bump doesn't completely go away in the morning. :)

Baby is making 2011 turn into a GREAT year!

Yesterday I showed up at my school's registration. I wasn't required/paid to be there. I showed up mostly hoping to talk with the kindergarten teacher I would be working with this year to get to know her. She was super busy, so I wasn't really able to talk to her. But I got to see some of my students that I had last year! So cool! It made me excited to eventually meet my new students in a couple of weeks, which is good because I was kind of dreading going back to work before this. :)

Also, today I met my doctor! She is very nice and answered all my questions. I also got to hear the heartbeat again! Right in the 150s just like it was the last two times they checked. LOL This baby has a very consistent, strong heartbeat. I am still a little worried about getting the attention I want/need when I give birth. Part of me wants to go with a midwife because I know I will be their sole focus and they will fully support my desire for a natural birth. On the other hand, going with my doctor would be much cheaper (my insurance covers pretty much everything) and I like the security of giving birth in a hospital JUST IN CASE. I do feel better after meeting my doctor and seeing that she is very supportive of however I want to give birth. She also is totally OK with me having a doula. My insurance will cover part of the cost of having a doula, which is great.

I just got off the phone with a representative of my union. I wanted to learn more about how maternity works as a teacher. I have the option of taking 6 weeks paid leave and then 6 weeks more of unpaid leave. During this 12 weeks, the district will still pay its share of my health insurance premium. If I want to go even further and take a leave until the end of the school year, it would be unpaid and I would have to pay all of the insurance premium. I don't think I'll do that, but it's good to know I can take the rest of the school year off if I want/need to!

Update: I just scheduled my 20 week ultrasound for October 3! So excited! We will probably find out the gender then. (I can't imagine being able to wait longer.)

I feel so lucky/blessed to have things going so smoothly so far with this pregnancy. 2011 started out really crummy with the stress of work, the miscarriage, and then my old cat dying, but things are looking up BIG TIME. I thank God/my deceased relatives/my deceased cat Maxi or whoever is looking out for me from above.

Have a great weekend!

Yikes! It's official!!!

I told my immediate family and close friends. Now I just announced it to the world on Facebook! (Well, work doesn't know yet, but will soon.)

(M is my husband. My status update is kind of an inside joke because whenever someone would ask me when we were going to have kids, I would say, "Whenever science advances to the point where my husband can carry it for me.")

It's kind of scary, but also very exciting. This pregnancy and BABY feel so real now! :)

Mama Drama/Family Drama

Hello! Not much new to report in regards to the baby. I had Taco Bell yesterday for the first time since before I was pregnant. Not proud of that, and I feel really guilty. I am just so sick of food and sick of forcing myself to eat the same stuff all the time. Taco Bell was the ONLY thing I could think of that sounded remotely tolerable. I don't know what's up with me. It's not like I am having morning sickness. I feel fine. Oh well. I guess I didn't realize mommy guilt started so early.

Also, I keep checking for a baby bump, but it still just looks and feels like bloating/pudge.

I had some family drama last week. My sister told me that she is going to return to school to become a legal assistant. I was very happy for her. She has been struggling a lot lately financially. Hopefully, this will give her better job prospects. Then, she told me that I would have to help more with my brother who has autism and lives in a group home. She is his legal guardian. I said, "Sure, no problem." I said I would help any way I could (I have always told her this), but I could not take time off work for meetings and whatnot. I am a teacher, so it is not easy to take off work in the first place. Secondly, I am having a baby later this year and all my time off will have to go towards maternity leave. She then gave me a guilt trip, telling me that she let me finish school and didn't bother me with helping then. I got really mad, a little bit at her for the guilt trip, but mostly at my parents. THEY should be doing all this stuff. THEY are the parents. Only pure selfishness has prevented them from being legal guardians for my brother. I called up my mom and kind of yelled at her. She said she would help, but my sister refuses to talk to her to tell her how to help. (My sister is seeing a therapist and he told her it might be a good idea to distance herself from my mom for her own mental health.) Great. Now I have to be middleman in all this drama. I really hate my family right now.

Sorry about that. Thanks for letting me vent. Have a wonderful week!

I saw my baby!!!

What a fabulous day! I had my first ultrasound appointment today. My husband and I were so worried on our way there. The last time we got an ultrasound, it was to basically see an empty uterus after my miscarriage. :( Today's experience was so different! Baby measured a few days farther than I thought, so I am adjusting my estimated due date. Before I thought I was due 2/23. This was calculated based on when I ovulated. Turns out, I am actually due on 2/21 (based on last menstrual period), which makes me 10w6d. My baby measured 11 weeks on the dot today. The baby was moving around a lot too, which is really cool. I am so glad baby is growing and still has a strong heartbeat. I feel like the luckiest person alive!

Also, a lot of my clothes don't fit anymore. I start work/teaching in a few weeks, so I was worried about what I was going to wear. Problem solved! I bought 5 new shirts at Goodwill that are loose and comfy. I bought a pair of maternity pants and stretchy waistband shorts from Kohls, 3 more pairs of maternity pants at JC Penney's, and 2 belly bands at Motherhood Maternity. I think I am set until cold temperatures set in! (Then I will have to buy maternity sweaters perhaps.) I am pretty thrilled also because I didn't break the bank with all these purchases. Also, maternity pants look better on me than regular pants. Who knew?

Good bye, Old Girl

Well, my cat Maxi died on Friday, July 22. She was 19 years old. I kind of knew she was dying, but I was still kind of in denial and debating whether to put her down or not. She made the choice for me. She died peacefully in her sleep. My husband buried her next to a little tree in our backyard. Today, I ordered an engraved rock to put on her spot. I am also working on a memorial video/slideshow and photo album. I am posting this picture in loving memory.

                                       Maxi, about 5 years ago, when she was still very playful. :)

I miss her so much. She was my baby for so long. I can't believe she is gone. I don't think I will ever have a pet as great as she was. She was the pet that would cuddle me when I was sad. She was also the cat that would bite me (not hard) to communicate her displeasure with me. LOL I always loved her sassy, cranky nature. I am thinking that if this baby in my tummy turns out to be a boy, I might name him Max or Maxwell after her. That's how much she meant to me and will always mean to me. I hope she is at peace in "Kitty Heaven". I also hope that she knew in her final moments/days of life that I loved her very much. I did everything I could to make her last few days comfortable for her. I hope I succeeded. I hope she wasn't in any pain. I am just so thankful that I had her for so long and she had good health for the vast majority of that time. I am very lucky.

She will always be my sweet precious "Old Girl". :) I will never forget her. EVER.

I heard the heartbeat!!!

Yesterday, I had my first appointment. Both my husband and I were feeling crummy on our way there. He was feeling crummy because work that day was super stressful. I was feeling crummy because my cat's health keeps going downhill, and I might have to make the decision as to whether or not to "put her down".

Anyways, we sit in the waiting room a LONG time waiting for the NP to come in. She finally comes in and says something, "Oh, it's so nice to see you two again! Is this baby number 2 then?" We then tell/remind her that the first pregnancy (3 months ago) ended in a miscarriage. She says something about how it did seem like she just saw us and that must be why. She then goes into the usual pregnancy information. She asks me if I would like to hear the heartbeat. I say "no" right away because I was worried that it would be a repeat of the last appointment for my last pregnancy. Last time, she moved her wand around for a long time and could not find the heartbeat. Plus, I know that not everyone can hear the heartbeat at 8w5d and that doesn't mean anything is necessarily wrong. I was thinking I just wanted to wait until the ultrasound. She was surprised I said "no", but then keeps talking. As she talks, I think some more and decide that I would KICK myself if I didn't take this chance to see that everything is OK.

She gets me up on the table and starts moving the wand around. I am very calm, telling myself that it's not a big deal if she can't find it. After 1-2 minutes of moving the wand around, BAM! I instantly recognize a heartbeat that is too fast to be my own. 150 bpm! I start crying and I can hear my husband let out a gasp, so I know he is crying too. He recorded the sound on his phone. I love hearing the heartbeat!

I am not a religious person at all, but I am so thankful for this little miracle! Even though I am still worried about my cat, I feel more at peace knowing that at least my baby is OK.

Also, my first ultrasound appointment is August 1. Can't wait! :)

Harry Potter!!!

Nerd Alert! I am so excited! I am going to see the new Harry Potter movie tonight with my husband! It is nice having that to look forward because I just got done with a week-long reading conference. When I say week-long, I actually mean it was a looooooong week. ;)

Not much new on the pregnancy front. I am now just past 8 weeks pregnant. I am still having symptoms, but nothing debilitating or anything. I am just really looking forward to my first appointment on Tuesday. I am hoping the NP will order a dating ultrasound, and I can see my baby some time later next week. I just really want to know everything is OK.

Have a great weekend!

Old Cat

Hello. Wow. Ever since I got pregnant, I feel like my life is a never-ending soap opera. So much drama! My life is normally very quiet and boring. This week was tough because I was an emotional mess. My old cat, Maxi, who is 19 years old started having health issues. She peed all over a cat bed and a dog bed and also doesn't want to pee in the litter box anymore. She sometimes does this, so I thought maybe this was just a phase. Then, I find bleeding in her nether region, which has never happened before, so I get really worried. I took her to the vet and they said she may have a liver infection. She also lost 2 pounds and is now underweight. Yikes! I was so worried about her! I was picturing her dying and the horrible grieving that would take place. I have owned this cat for 18 years. I love her a bunch. Luckily, the enema cleared her out and she got her appetite back. She seems her usual self.

On top of all that drama, I was so worried about my baby and it was driving me crazy not knowing how things are going "down there". I try to reassure myself by realizing I have more symptoms this go-around and it seems like things are all right. Logic doesn't always work though. I am really looking forward to my first appointment on the 18th and hopefully the ultrasound will be soon after.

If you're TTC, I wish you luck and hope for a BFP very soon. For those pregnant, I hope for sticky babies!
Have a nice weekend!

Scary Business

Yesterday was really scary for me. I was getting ready to go to the grocery store to buy ingredients to make cheeseburgers and french fries (I had a strong craving). When I came into the bathroom to brush my hair, I bumped my pelvis really hard into the corner of the bathroom counter.

The feeling must be similar to what guys feel when they get kicked in the nether regions. I couldn't even talk for a minute or two. After the pain subsided, I realized exactly what part of my body I had bumped. It was right next to the crease where the thigh and mons pubis meet. I wish I knew exactly where my uterus begins. I may have bumped closer to my vagina for all I know, and if that's true, then my baby should be OK. I am just so scared! Last night I kept feeling throbbing off-and-on in the area I bumped and maybe a little cramping in my uterus as well. That might be normal pregnancy cramping, but why did it have to be in full force last night when I was so worried that I had caused my own miscarriage? I feel back to normal so far this morning with no cramping or bleeding (never bled at all last night either), so I am feeling a little more reassured. Also, I asked the ladies on BBC what they thought and they were all reassuring as well.

I hate my stupid bathroom! It is so small and cramped, and that is why I bumped into the counter yesterday! I am going to put some padding on the corners of that counter because I do not want this to happen again. Maybe I'll just go ahead and pregnancy-proof the whole house. Come to think of it, this is not my first act of clumsiness while pregnant. A week ago, I bumped my forehead pretty hard on the corner of my printer. (Yeah, not sure how I managed that one.)

I thought it was just a normal oops-bump, but then a couple days later, I saw that I had actually cut my forehead! See the line at the top of my forehead?

Anyways, I am going to try to be more careful from now on. I wish I didn't have to be so neurotic and could be carefree like I was with my first pregnancy. Oh well. That's life.

Vacation, Bloating, and To Tell or Not to Tell?

Hello! I just got back from my cruise a couple of days ago. We had a lot of fun! We went to Ocho Rios, Jamaica. While there we climbed a waterfall called Dunn's River Falls and then spent some time at a beautiful beach.

Then, we went to Grand Cayman island. We swam with some big sting rays and did some snorkeling by a coral reef.

We had a great time! I was very happy to note no bleeding or anything that might indicate a miscarriage. I sure was bloated though! Normally, in the summertime, I get very fit and feel comfortable enough to wear a bikini. Not this summer! I may not be experiencing many symptoms, but bloating is definitely one of them. 

Also, I kind of quietly decided to wait awhile before telling family and friends we are pregnant. My husband supports whatever I want to do. Last time, we told my mom, sister, best friend, his parents, his brother, and his best friend right away. I am not necessarily afraid to tell them and then miscarry (because I am confident I will meet my baby in February!) I just want to tell them when I am fairly sure that we are "in the clear" after seeing the baby on an ultrasound. That way, they can truly be excited and we'll be excited all over again with them. :) Also, I figure the more things I have to look forward to, the more easily the time will pass. As you know from my blog title, I am not a patient person. Everything seems to move too slow! LOL

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

"Hi, Pops! What up?!"

So I finally told my husband today, his birthday, that I am pregnant. (Yay!) This is what I did...

Last night right before going to bed, I drew a little stick person below my belly button with a talk bubble right next to it, saying "Hi, Pops! What up?!" When my husband woke up the next morning, he noticed that I was already awake and staring off into space. He asked me what was up. I though a bit because I wasn't sure if my way of telling him would be lame. Then, I lifted up my shirt and pointed at my belly. He read it, smiled, and then said, "I kind of thought you might be pregnant." I replied, "How??" "Because you are having major gas and you had that the last time you were pregnant." I laughed because I knew that was true.

I hope he liked his birthday present!

Baby Fever Has Officially Turned into Baby Inferno!!!

Hello! I have some exciting news! I took a pregnancy test yesterday and was shocked to see it was positive. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to wait months or even a year to get pregnant again, but I kind of figured I would have to wait because that's what happened the first time. Also, my life seems to happen in slow motion. I am always waiting for something it seems and then when I am about dying and can't wait any longer, it finally happens.

I probably shouldn't be that surprised that I got a BFP. I had a clue on Saturday at 9 dpo. I was shopping with my friend Jill, trying on some shorts, when I felt really quick, sharp jabs in my uterus. I remember thinking, "Wow, I haven't felt anything like this since I was pregnant." A light bulb went off and I was excited to think maybe I was pregnant. Then, the song "Happy to be Stuck with You" by Huey Lewis and the News came on the store speakers. I thought that that must be a sign: I am pregnant, happy, and hoping that this baby sticks.

During the next two days, I didn't really feel any more sharp cramps or really anything to indicate pregnancy, so I got a little bummed out, thinking I had gotten my hopes up (which is silly because with my first pregnancy, I didn't have symptoms until 14-15 dpo). Plus, I took an HPT on Sunday at 10 dpo, and it was a clear negative. I never test that early, so I was mad at myself that I did.

Yesterday, I took a test again because my temps were staying up, and I just wanted to officially confirm AF would be coming soon. Lo, and behold, a BFP!

Now I am starting a new "waiting game". I haven't told my husband yet about any of this! His birthday is tomorrow, so I thought it would be very cool to tell him on his b-day. He has been really stressed out with work lately, so I wanted to get him very excited/happy while also creating a good memory that we can later share with our son/daughter. I am not good at waiting, so this is killing me! So many times yesterday I wanted to tell him, but stopped myself. It is also hard not telling him because he is my best friend and I tell him everything. Thank goodness I have Babycenter and this blog and you fine readers! :)

Also, on a side note, I really think getting the timing right for intercourse with OPKs and BBT charting, doing missionary style, lying down for a long time afterwards, and my husband switching to boxers really make a huge difference in whether we conceive or not. We went 12 months without conceiving (not even a chemical pregnancy, not that I ever want one) and I think it is because the timing was a little off (it has to be near perfect) and he was wearing briefs. Also, maybe both of us taking vitamins made a difference too.

Anyways, I'll let you know how the big surprise goes tomorrow, and hopefully I'll get to share my experience of being 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 24 weeks, and 40 weeks pregnant. I already love this baby so much!

Thankful

Hello, again. I haven't been on here in a while because I haven't had much to say. I have felt a little more at peace lately. Less upset about this TTC business and less upset about the stress of my job. I am just trying to appreciate the things in life that make me happy and trust that we will add a child to our family someday soon. Thus, here is what I am thankful for...

I am thankful for my pets! This is Chester, a "mutt" we got from the humane society almost 3 years ago. He is 6-8 years old (don't know for sure). He enjoys laying around and the occasional walk around the dog park.

This is my cat Ajax. I got her before my husband moved in together/got married. I was living on my own in an apartment. I already had one other cat. This was probably 6 years ago. She is about 8-9 years old now. I also got her from the humane society. She enjoys eating... and eating.

This my other cat Maxi. She is old and cranky. I got her when I was 11 years old. That was 18 years ago, so she is about 19 years old now. She is still alive and kicking, very healthy! She enjoys sleeping and the occasional cuddle.

I am also very thankful for romance novels! They are just so much fun to read! And yes, I even read in the bathroom. :)

I am thankful for being able to sew and make quilts. I am new to quilting, but I really enjoy it and it relaxes me. I am glad I have my own little sewing table (thanks to my in-laws) so that I don't have to clutter my kitchen table with all this stuff.

I am thankful for naps. I took a 3-4 hour nap today on the couch. It was so nice!

I very much appreciate my flowers! We planted them on my birthday and they are looking very nice. It really brightens my day when I get home after work and see them. Double impatiens are gorgeous. I highly recommend planting them!

I am thankful for movies! My husband and I are spending the weekend getting caught up on the new releases. We are also excited about the summer blockbusters coming out in theaters. We saw X-Men: First Class with friends last night. Good movie!

I am thankful that I seem to have no fertility issues. I think I just ovulated on CD 17, so I am crossing my fingers that this is our lucky month!    My BBT chart

Finally, I am thankful for my husband. He is so understanding and sweet, and I love him lots! He also makes dinner for me. Tonight, he cooked salmon on the grill. Delicious!

Horrible Person Alert

I am horrible. I went to my friend's wedding yesterday, and even though I was happy for them, I kept thinking "Please don't let them get pregnant before I do". I know parenthood is not a race and I should be happy if I get pregnant, no matter when it happens. This was just such a tough week in terms of seeing people pregnant or with their children. Every time I saw a mother with a little child, I teared up, which is really unusual for me. Normally, I feel fine and tell myself my day will come soon. Lately, I have been wondering if I will ever get to be a mother. Logically, I know I can adopt and I would be just as happy with that option. My husband and I already discussed that if I am not pregnant by September that we would look into adoption. BUT I am wondering if destiny will conspire against me and motherhood will never happen. I care for my students, but I wouldn't want my career to be the basis of my existence.

Still, I don't want my friends to become parents before I do. Logical or not, I would feel like a huge failure if that happened.

Thank goodness my husband and I have this cruise to look forward to! I am supposed to get my next period right before we leave. My husband is bummed about that, so he is determined to get me pregnant before then so that my period never shows up. ;)

Good luck to everyone TTC!

Not Pregnant

Hello. I will keep this short, but not very sweet. AF showed up, so I am definitely NOT pregnant. I feel very disappointed and numb at the same time. Starting to feel like I will never be a mother. :(

The Getting-My-Hopes-Up Weekend (Had a good bday though)

I made a big mistake this weekend. I held a baby.

OK. Let's go backwards. I actually had a pretty nice weekend, even though I was kind of depressed about what happened at work last week. On Saturday, I went to my brother's Special Olympics track meet. He got first in the 200 m dash and second in the 100 m dash. I was so proud of him, and he was so happy! Afterwards, my husband and I went to my aunt's house for my cousin's graduation party. I got to see a few of my aunts and uncles and cousins I hardly ever see anymore. I also met my newest second cousin (my cousin's cousin). What a cute baby! I couldn't help myself. I held him for a half-hour and made a fool out of myself just to make this kid crack a smile. He was really sweet. Almost too sweet because it got me thinking about TTC and hoping that I was pregnant but just didn't know it yet. Later that night, my husband and I were both really tired, but we went to see Bridesmaids because I didn't know when I would be able to see it otherwise. It was really funny. (Highly recommend it.)

Then yesterday was my birthday. My mother-in-law and father-in law came over. My MIL helped me plant flowers and my FIL helped my husband fix our patio. They also brought over a new patio set for my bday and a bigger grill for my husband's bday (an early present). Anyways, it was a really nice day.

Unfortunately, last night when I should have been in bed, I was obsessing over my bbt chart, trying to see some pattern that showed I was pregnant (at 9 DPO). I think I got my hopes up because when I woke up this morning and saw that my temp had dropped quite a bit from yesterday, I was really bummed out. I really hope I am not out this month. I was stupid and got my hopes up. I am sick of waiting. That's all I ever seem to do. We had to wait a whole year to get pregnant last time. Can't we get pregnant quick THIS TIME?

Well, I should go. I got work today and don't want to be late. I am going to make myself leave on time this week. Because last week was so horrible (maybe I'll tell you about that some time), if I work too many extra hours this week I will probably go insane.

At least, I got one thing to look forward to... Cruise! :)

Have a nice week, everyone!

Looking forward to party, wedding, flowers, cruise, baby... Not necessarily in that order

Hi, again!

So many things going on now!

I just ovulated yesterday (I think). This is 3 weeks after my miscarriage, before my first period. We actually tried rather vigorously (contrary to my previous plan) because I couldn't imagine passing up that fertile time without full-on effort. I might be a little crazy, but I feel so optimistic!

Also, 6 weeks to go until our cruise! My husband and I are flying to Miami and cruising to Ocho Rios, Jamaica, and the Cayman Islands.


So excited! I can't wait to be out and about in warm summer weather and swimming in the ocean!

Also, in the next 2 weeks, I go to my cousin's graduation party. I remember holding him soon after he was born and then later babysitting him and his brother and sister as they grew up. I can't believe he is 18 and graduating! I feel so old! LOL

I will also be attending my brother's Special Olympics track meet the same day. He wasn't involved in Special Olympics last year because of emotional difficulties, so I look forward to seeing him competing. He is actually pretty good at shot-put and running. If you have never been to a Special Olympics sporting event, I highly recommend it. It is very fun and the competitors enjoy it so much.

My friend from high school will be marrying a woman he met at my wedding 3 years ago! I love weddings, mostly because of the food and dancing at the reception. I plan on dragging my husband out on the dance floor and making a fool of myself.

My birthday is coming up and I will plant flowers with my mother-in-law. I look forward to getting my hands dirty and seeing a beautiful yard as a result. Then, I will really know summer is coming soon!


Good thing all this exciting stuff is happening right now because I think work will continue to be stressful up until the final day of school. I am trying to get several of my students into summer school. They have special needs. (I am a special education teacher.) It is very difficult to get them into summer school, which drives me crazy. I hate how deplorably school districts and society in general still treat people with disabilities. All anyone seems to care about is how much their care costs. Guess what? We used to put people with disabilities into institutions and that was inhumane AND expensive! OK, done venting! :)

I just hope 2 weeks from now, I am writing a blog post stating that I am cautiously expecting my first child (a rainbow baby).